The city of Bologna in the 12th-13th century - the closest we can get to a medieval skyscraper city; because nobles used to build high towers as a symbol of power and also for offensive/defensive purposes, at one point there were around 100 such towers.
NASA created retro travel posters for different locations in our solar system in hopes of inspiring young people to imagine a future where common space travel is a possibility.
• Because Minerva McGonagall isn’t gonna let an eleven year old kid beat her at sudden death chess and get away with it.
• Ron is a really good president just ‘cos all he expects from members is that they try. You can be horrible at chess (Harry) or extremely good at it (Dean Thomas and his deft hands), and it doesn’t matter in the end because Ron’ll clap you on the back anyway and say, “Good game, mate.”
• Meetings are held in the library because Madam Pince has always had a softness for wizard chess and trusts Minerva when she promises that no one will [probably] get blown up. (Seamus Finnigan whistles innocently somewhere in the background.)
• The library is actually the perfect place for it. The atmosphere is charming. Books are floating around their heads all the time—some leaning down curiously to watch, others being plucked lovingly from the air by Hermione. The usual quiet is exchanged for whispered exclamations and barely stifled sniggers, and just this once, Madam Pince doesn’t mind. Oh, and the light coming in through the colored windows shines on the pieces in a really beautiful way, I tell ya—reds, blues, and golds flickering off kings and queens like badges of honor. (Everyone kinda loves it.)
• THE GOOD: (i.) Dean Thomas: Vice President. His games are works of art. Dean Thomas is a work of art. (ii.) Justin Finch-Fletchley: He used to play chess all of the time with his muggle grandpa. It took him a little bit to get used to all the moving pieces, though. (iii.) Susan Bones: She learned precision from her aunt and applies it nicely to the chessboard. (iv.) Astoria Greengrass: Boredom and a desire to do something interesting has bred a mean chess player out of little Miss Greengrass. (v.) Cho Chang: Cho doesn’t get to attend all of the meetings because of Quidditch, but she’ll pop in occasionally and make fools out of anyone who dares to cross her. #RavenclawPride
• THE OKAY?: (i.) Hermione Granger: Hermione’s not bad per say. She’d be better if she would stop overthinking every, single move. (ii.) Michael Corner: He’s a bit of a sore loser. (iii.) Neville Longbottom: He’s actually a pretty decent player—just needs a bit of polishing around the edges. Neville likes the patience of chess, how he can sit and think a little while before he has to make a move. (iv.) George Weasley: In many of his and Fred’s wonderful schemes, he’s been responsible for the finer details of the prank, the complexities and the nuances. His attention to detail makes him a player to contend with.
The UGLY:
(i.) Harry Potter: Harry J is constantly distracted by everything and everyone in his tragic life to be any good at chess, but he wouldn’t miss a meeting for the world. Ron gets this big, stupid grin on his face when he’s playing that’s worth every second of it. (ii.) Draco Malfoy: “Did you see the way Potter moved his chess piece? It wasn’t very graceful, was it? I’m much better than Potter. Besides, chess is for inferior people. LIKE POTTER. Have I mentioned that I’m better than Potter?” “Oi, Draco, you lost.” “Oh.” (iii.) Daphne Greengrass: She only joined because her sister made her. Most of the time, she just sits in the corner and reads a wizard comic. Nerd. (iv.) Ernie Macmillan: Brags ceaselessly when he wins. Threatens to quit when he loses. Finally acts on his words when Astoria creams him with many pawns to spare.
HONORABLE MENTIONS: (i.) Seamus Finnigan: Did not blow a single person up. (ii.) Fred Weasley: Isn’t really interested in the chess part, but enjoys alternating between cheering his brothers on and pranking them. (iii.) Hannah Abbott: Her weary apologies for Ernie’s pompous behavior should be duly noted. (iv.) Luna Lovegood/Dobby: Their collaborative banners for the club are lovely.
• In light of Dumbledore’s Army, the Hogwarts Chess Club is later renamed Dumbledore’s Pawns. Too on the nose?
• Over the course of the club, there are certain match ups that everyone gets really hyped over: Dean vs. Ron, Draco vs. Harry (even though both of them are horrible at it), Astoria vs. Ron, etc. But no game is more anticipated than the occasional one that Minnie McGee and Ron play. It’s epic. The pieces are all but broken by the time they finish up. At the end of Ron’s sixth year, the record is in his favor, but only just.
• (Quite a few Weasleys have come and gone in Minerva’s time at Hogwarts—many of them extremely gifted and well liked by her—but for this, for his prowess at a game that she loves, she will always have a particular fondness for Ron.)
• Other teachers stop in to play, too. Flitwick and Pince have a delightful rivalry. Snape has never beaten Minerva McGonagall for all his sneering. Lupin is okay, but his main contribution to the club is giving chocolate to unsuspecting members. (Where does he get his supply??? Does it just randomly appear up his sleeve?????) Dumbledore himself once popped in, won against Ron and Minerva alike with a twinkle in his eye, and then Apparated out of the library just because he knew Miss Granger’s mouth would fall open.
• You have to admit, that man has style.
• Just Hogwarts chess club, y'all.
• I think Ron would love it just as much as his Chocolate Frog card. (Okay, maybe a little less.)
So it’s Women’s History Month, and you’d like to read some female authors. “But where do I start?” You cry. Your high school reading list was a long line of white dudes and your college syllabi weren’t all that different, and you can only reread Pride and Prejudice so many times. It’s okay: we’ve got you covered. As a starter pack, here’s a few famous books by male authors, paired with a book by a female author you could read instead.
Kerouac’s famous stream-of-consciousness ode to the beat generation is one of the classic travel narratives of American literature. Solnit also contemplates travel, but from a very different perspective. Her book addresses the issues of wandering, being lost, and the uses of the unknown. Less a work of theory than a conversation with a friend, Solnit draws to the heart of what compels us to wander - “a series of peregrinations, leading the reader to unexpected vistas.” (New Yorker)
Ernest Hemingway’s first novel is about the romance between an expatriate ambulance driver and an English nurse, thinly based on his own experience during World War I. Nightwood, published in 1936, is also a modernist novel focusing on Robin Vote and the American Nora Flood, two women seeking inner peace in their relationship with each other. Djuna Barnes dwells on both the glory and isolation that come with being an outsider, and her novel is also based partly on Barnes’ own life.
Franzen’s most recent novel focuses on the journey of young woman Pip (real name Purity) and her journey to figure out her identity. Rachel Cusk’s novel, told in ten conversations, draws a spare portrait of a novelist teaching creative writing in Athens, seeking to come to terms with a tragedy in her past. Her elegant prose and highly intelligent writing create a compelling portrait of how we hide ourselves from others.
Like Cormac McCarthy’s dark, hyper-violent Western, The Outlander takes place in the early 19th century in southern Alberta. About a woman who flees into the wilderness after murdering her husband, Adamson also dwells on the hardships and brutality of the American West, but from the point of view of a female protagonist trying to escape her vengeful pursuers, retreating ever deeper into the wilderness of both the mountains and herself.
Updike is well known for writing portraits of the lives of the small town middle class. My Name is Lucy Barton is a book about the relationship between an estranged mother and daughter and the complicated love between them. Her style is undramatic and never sentimental, focusing on that which is often unspoken and only implied to create a subtle portrait of two small town women.
Frequently both called authors of “creative nonfiction”, Norman Mailer’s book follows a decorated war-hero as he descends into murderous insanity, while Joan Didion writes about an unfulfilled New York actress telling her story from a psychiatric institute after a mental breakdown. Joan Didion dwells compellingly on themes of alienation and the breakdown of the elite, and the disintegration of American culture and morals.
Anne Sexton’s deeply personal, confessional poetry can be compared with Bukowski’s writing on his relationships with women, alcohol, and writing. Anne Sexton’s poetry was frequently daring, dwelling on taboo topics such as abortion, menstruation, adultery, and drug addiction in a dramatic, sometimes rough voice.
In the 30s, John Steinbeck addressed economic injustice in his story of a family of Dust Bowl migrants struggling to make their way. Carola Dibbel writes a modern day story grappling with modern inequality, set in a near future plagued by disease and disparity, centering around a woman who finds herself at the mercy of dubious experimentation just to survive.
Instead of picking up Robert Heinlein’s science fiction story about a strange man from Mars who teaches Earthlings his customs, try Octavia Butler’s Xenogenesis Trilogy (published in one volume as Lilith’s Brood) about Lilith Iyapo and the Oankali, an alien race seeking to save the Earth by merging with mankind, and the struggles of humankind of maintain their own culture and identity while mercing with another species. Lilith’s Brood exhibits all of Butler’s deep understanding of human strengths and flaws.
An epic fantasy that, like the A Song of Ice and Fire series, features complex and treacherous politics and deeply flawed characters, Robin Hobb’s series tells the story of a prince’s bastard son, trained as an assassin, who finds himself caught up - and overwhelmed by - the intrigues of the powerful people around him - all while the strange menace of the Red Ship Raiders continues to threaten the Six Duchies.
Schrodinger’s Nap: where you are both too tired to do things and awake enough to not fall asleep so you just lie in bed with your eyes closed suffering.
a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay
neville: *messes up his potion*
gordon ramsay: *holds neville between two slices of bread* what are you
neville: an idiot sandwich
no no no!
Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior
Neville: *messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly*
GR: What’s going on?
Neville: *explains how he messed up*
GR: Oh gosh okay…we can fix this, don’t cry, see, it’s fine now? Just be more careful when you’re adding the Newt’s eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears.
Neville: *giggles wetly, wiping eyes*
Yes, he only screams when he’s dealing with people that claim to know what they’re doing and clearly dont, when he’s teaching he’s very kind and patient because they’re still learning.
He’d probably do the bread thing to Malfoy.
nononononono. I get that Malfoy is a bit of a twat, but he’s still a kid. It’d be the teachers fucking up that he’d have trouble with.
Ramsay: All you had to do was treat it with a fucking Beozar!
Slughorn: It was a stressfu-
Ramsay: How long have you been teaching potions?!
or
Ramsay: So you’re going to raise this boy SPECIFICALLY so he can die as part of your twisted little scheme?
Dumbledore: It’s for the greater good, professor.
Ramsay: The greater fucking good?! *holds two slices of bread either side of dumbledoor’s face* What are you?
My favorite Gordon Ramsey moment is from the latest season of Master Chef Jr.
Gordon had run in to help a group of struggling kids with a team challenge and one of the older kids, a 12 year old boy, wasn’t passing attention while taking a pan out of the oven and not only spilled all the food but scalded Gordon.
It’s clear Gordon’s leg is in pain. He’s been badly burned without warning. But he doesn’t scream. He doesn’t yell, not even in pain, and he doesn’t go off on the child who is now frozen in fear. He calmly tells the child to set the pan down and to close the oven, safety first. Then tells him to go restart the food he was making, calm instructions.
My husband and I grew up in abusive homes where any mistake meant parents getting angry (my husband is terrified of spills or broken glasses because that meant beatings growing up, for me, anything going wrong, that could upset my mother, even if it wasn’t my fault meant screaming and emotional abuse).
I didn’t know someone could be so calm. That someone could not get angry, and put aside what they’re feeling (in this case a lot of physical pain) and not take it out on those around them, even when someone around them had messed up, because that person is a child.
Gordon Ramsey is a survivor of child abuse himself and as an adult, the most non-abusive person ever when it comes to kids.
